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The older you get, the wider the permissible age gap: a 50-year-old can venture as old as 86. In practice, research conducted by Christian Rudder, co-founder of OKCupid, a dating website, suggests that when it comes to age gaps, men and women have slightly different ideas.
While female users look for men roughly the same age as them (or perhaps a year or two older) men prefer women in their early twenties, regardless of their own age.
Again, the link might not be causal: healthy men might be particularly able both to attract younger mates and live to a ripe old age.
But mysteriously, this phenomenon does not appear to apply to women, where the bigger the age gap, the worse their survival chances, regardless of whether they were younger or older.
“When you’re an ambitious woman, it’s very difficult — you either have to subsume what you wanna do for somebody else, or live with the struggle to fight your partner on top of business survival, and it’s a very unhealthy relationship,” says Nicole Wipp, a 45-year-old attorney and entrepreneur, who found a perfect match in her husband, Marcus Sutherland, a 33-year-old paramedic.
“Dating somebody younger than myself, there’s an acceptance of ambitious women — it’s more normalized.” They met at the University of Hawaii in November 2002, when she was a law student and he was a sophomore undergraduate.
It’s fine for a 22-year-old to go out with an 18-year-old.
In 2014, the claimed that “a five year age difference makes a couple 18 percent more likely to get divorced, compared to a couple born on or around the same year.” While the study cited – which polled American couples and ex-couples – did show an association between divorce rates and age gaps, it did not prove a causal link.
When a friend opts to date someone who is old enough to be their parent, a common response is to see if the decision passes the “half their age plus seven” test.
The rule, whose origins remain mysterious, has been passed down through generations as a way of justifying or, more commonly, pouring scorn on other people’s couplings.
Something about the kind of person who opts into a marriage with a large age gap could be driving the higher divorce rates, rather than the age gap itself.
A bright young thing considering a silver fox should also take heart from a study by Britain’s Office of National Statistics.